When it finally feels like home!
The Best Thing About Retiring Way Out There? When It Feels Like Home.
I live in Thailand, on Koh Lanta—a small island in the Andaman Sea near Malaysia. I bought my home here 13 years ago, and I’ve never once second-guessed my decision. After nearly a decade of wintering on the island, I knew this was where I wanted to be.
These days, I spend more than half the year here and even stayed right through Covid. If it weren’t for my partner needing to work in Canada during the summers, I might never go back to Ottawa at all. One year, it’ll happen—I’ll stay put at Happy Cat Villa, relieved that I don’t have to endure that grueling 40-hour trip each way.
Same routine, different view
As I write this, I’m sitting on my deck with my morning coffee. My view isn’t the sea or the beach, just my lush tropical garden—palm trees, flowering bushes, and bursts of red, pink, and yellow.
I don’t know the names of most of them, but I do know that the pink, fragrant trees are frangipani—the signature scent of so many Asian bath products. And the stunning flowering vine at my gate? That’s a Rangoon Creeper. I only learned that because I stole a clipping from a friend (worth it!).
And here’s something funny—my mornings here are exactly the same as in Canada.
☕ Coffee from a French press.
🥣 Oatmeal for breakfast.
📧 Checking emails while I eat.
The only real difference? Here, I have mango and papaya with my oatmeal, whereas in Canada, it’s blueberries and bananas.
Home is a feeling, not a place
That’s the point I want to make. Home isn’t just a place—it’s a feeling. It’s routine, familiarity, comfort.
Whether I’m in Canada, Thailand, or even a hotel when I was working, my daily rhythm is the same. The view changes, but not much else. That’s something to think about if you’re considering retiring somewhere far from what you know.
Many people assume that because I live on an island, I must spend my days at the beach, touring around, or constantly meeting new people. But I don’t. Because I’m not on vacation—I’m home.
That’s one of the most important things about retiring abroad or settling in a place where most people only vacation. Your daily life isn’t an endless holiday—it’s just life.
A day in the life - on Koh Lanta
My days are quiet and predictable, much like they would be anywhere else:
📩 Morning emails over coffee and breakfast.
✍️ Writing, planning, or working on a project.
🛍️ Running errands—shopping for food, stopping by a friend’s place.
🎨 Creating—maybe a new garbage art sculpture, painting cat faces on something, or making pet toys.
🐱 Afternoon break—cuddling with my cat, reading my Kindle, and maybe a 20-minute cat nap.
🚶♀️ Late afternoon two-hour walk, followed by watering the garden at sunset.
🍽️ Evenings—dinner at home, a friend dropping by, or hanging out at a local bar after closing time with my Thai friends.
I don’t go out at night much—it’s too touristy. Unless, of course, it’s to a local friend’s place.
Tourists and the vacation bubble
Tourists can be…well, a lot. They always want to know where the cheapest food is, where to find the “best” this or that. But they don’t want to hear what I actually think.
They don’t want to hear that their favorite restaurant never changes its deep-frying oil. They don’t want to know that the place they think is “too expensive” actually serves the best quality food.
And they definitely don’t want to know that bargaining too hard over a $2 souvenir hat probably meant the vendor’s kids ate dinner that night, but she didn’t. Poverty here is real. But they’re on vacation, caught up in the “Look at me, I got a great deal” mindset. And I don’t want to burst their bubble. So I keep my distance.
That’s another difference between living somewhere vs. vacationing there.
Why I chose to retire ‘Way Out There’
I knew decades ago that I couldn’t afford to retire in Canada. As an independent consultant, I wouldn’t have a pension. No matter how much I saved, it wouldn’t be enough.
Canada is expensive. Heating, air conditioning, winter clothes, summer clothes, boots, coats—it never ends. And it’s the same across most of the Western world.
So I knew I’d be heading somewhere remote. And I loved the idea.
When I was a young girl, I imagined living on a tropical island—where the weather was hot and hotter, where there was no snow, no ice, no slush, and no days below freezing. I wanted a place that was simple, with just enough infrastructure to get by.
And I was right on.
✔️ The infrastructure is basic, but I have great internet.
✔️ I have indoor plumbing, electricity, a Western-style kitchen and bathroom.
✔️ I don’t wear much—just a light dress most days and running shorts and a t-shirt for my walks.
✔️ It’s hot. And then it gets hotter. But I’m used to it.
I love my simple, easy days.
My temporary tourist escape - Bangkok
Every so often, I need a break from simplicity. That’s when I hop over to Bangkok for a few days.
🚦 Traffic, lights, noise—it’s a shock to the senses, and I love it.
🛍️ Massive malls and sprawling markets to explore.
🍜 Incredible street food—some of the best anywhere.
🎬 Big, modern movie theaters with luxurious reclining seats (and yes, they serve food and drinks right to you!).
It’s the only time I’m a tourist. And after a few days? I’m happy to return to my quiet island life.
Retiring on an island is not the same as vacationing there
That’s what I want to emphasize.
Living on Koh Lanta is nothing like vacationing here. In the early years, my partner and I never left the beach. Our bungalow was right in the sand. We spent our days eating at beach restaurants, drinking at beach bars, never thinking about life beyond the shoreline.
But living here is different.
When you retire in a place where people vacation, you don’t stay on holiday forever.
✅ You settle into routine.
✅ You stop eating fancy meals every day.
✅ You find joy in simple, familiar things—a pet, a favorite coffee mug, a cozy chair.
That’s the real joy of retiring way out there.
Not right away—but soon enough—it starts to feel like home.
And that’s when you know you belong.
Final thoughts
Happy Cat Villa on Koh Lanta?
It’s not just a house. It’s my home.
I hope you enjoyed this newsletter and will stick around for more. I have a slew of topics planned that I think you’ll enjoy. The next newsletter will be published on March 22, 2005 and I’ll dive into the biggest differences between my home in Thailand and where I lived in Canada—stay tuned!
✅ I would love to hear from you. I’m totally open for newsletter suggestions so feel free to let me know what you’d like me to write about, in the comments..
✅ What is your ‘retirement status’? Tell me if you’re retired, planning your retirement, want to live way out there, or maybe spend half the year traveling.
✅ I have a question for you? What’s one thing that makes a place feel like home for you? Let me know in the comments and we can start a discussion.
✅ Enjoy this newsletter? Share it with someone who dreams of retiring somewhere different.
✅ Next newsletter on March 22: I’ll dive into the biggest differences between my home in Thailand and Canada—stay tuned!
✅ Visit my websites: Here are links for my Happy Cat website for many articles on my life on Koh Lanta, and for information about my books (all available on Amazon) on my Perley-Ann website.
Hello Perley-Ann! I'm looking at Nov/Dec back in Koh Lanta! Hope you'll be back by then!
Thank you for your podcast and writings that lead me to Lanta🙏
It's a wonderful island and will always stay awhile while visiting Thailand. Hopefully see you soon!
I live in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia where there are no decent restaurants, no green spaces or decent parks. It's an ugly city with no culture. All you see going up are condos that most people can't afford while there is a lot of homelessness. It breaks my heart seeing people living in tents while I see those luxury condos sprouting everywhere but no affordable housing. Difficult to move as there is a lack of housing everywhere.